Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Cat Sat on the Mat

While cleaning off my desk I came across the following item that a friend gave me sometime ago. I thought I'd post it so I could throw away the piece of paper it was written on. Though humorous, sadly, it is not far from the truth. I hope you enjoy it.

The Cat Sat on the Mat
How would Christians deal with "The cat sat on the mat" if it appeared in the Bible?

The Liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also cat and mat had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text should he interpreted according to the customs and practices of the period.

This would lead to an immediate backlash from the Evangelicals. They would make an essential condition of faith that a real, physical, living cat, being a domestic pet of the Felix Domesticus species, and having a whiskered head and furry body, four legs and a tail, did physically place its whole body on a floor covering, designed for that purpose, and which is on the floor, but not of the floor. The expression "on the floor, but not of the floor" would be explained in a leaflet.

Meanwhile, the Catholics would have developed the Festival of the Sedentation of the Blessed Cat. This would teach that the cat was white and majestically reclined on a mat of gold thread before its assumption to the Great Cat Basket of heaven. This is commemorated by the singing of the Magnificat, lighting three candles, and ringing a bell five times.

This would cause a schism with the Orthodox Church which believes that tradition requires Holy Cats Day (as it is colloquially known), to be marked by lighting six candles, and ringing the bell four times This would be partly resolved by the Cuckoo Land Declaration, recognizing the traditional validity of each.

The charismatics would welcome the chance for the full experience of the feline presence. This to be shown by resting, on all four limbs, on the floor and meowing in the feline spirit. This would, naturally, only be possible following the singing, for some 30 minutes, of inspired songs such as O cat, cat, cat, come to our mat, mat, mat, Feline we enthrone you, we proclaim you as cat and When you scratch us, we know that you're here.

The house church elements might even agree in a common doctrine, after four pauses, in a statement of multiple clauses.

Eventually, in the Church of England, the House of Bishops would issue a statement on the Doctrine of the Feline Sedentation. It would explain that traditionally the text describes a domestic feline quadruped superjacent to an unattached covering on a fundamental surface. For determining its salvific and eschatological significations, we follow the heuristic analytical principles adopted in dealing with the Canine Fenestration Question (How much is that doggie in the window?) and the Affirmative Musaceous Paradox (Yes, we have no bananas). And so on for 210 pages, The General Synod would then commend this report as helpful resource material for clergy to explain to the man in the pew the difficult doctrine of "the cat sat on the mat."

And the Mormons would come up with an entire rite in the Temple of the Baptism of the Dead Cat on the Mat, and would find innumerable proofs in the Book of Mormon supporting the Cat and Mat, while spending millions of dollars on archeological research to find the Mat or the Cat's bones, ultimately proving it for themselves while the rest of the archeological world scoffed.

Author Unknown

I like the first general rule of Scripture interpretation: "When the plain sense makes perfect sense, seek no other sense."

The Tapestry of Life

"Your life is like a tapestry. When you focus on a single thread, be it perceived as good or bad, you miss the artistry of the whole. Step back... and behold the beauty of the big picture."

Romans 8:28 - A Paraphrase
"If you love God, as His child, you are called according to His divine purpose. He is weaving together every detail of your life to produce ultimate good and beauty."

Thursday, October 22, 2009

GoD and DoG

For God lovers who are also dog lovers. This is written, illustrated and sung by the wife of Don Francisco ("He's Alive!")

Friday, October 16, 2009

Silent Monk Chorus

This is just fun!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Brother Benjamin's Compline

This past weekend I completed a seven-weekend run of the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I portray a character known as "Benjamin 'the Reformer' Ingham.” Benjamin is a pre-Reformation protestant preacher. In addition to singing ancient hymns, holding a Sunday morning Gathering of the Faithful and general conversing with people, I lead what I call Celtic Compline each evening at 6:00. I know, 6:00 is closer to the time of Vespers, but I went with “Celtic Compline” thinking that it would possibly create more interest, especially by adding the word “Celtic” to it.

Compline is the final “Prayer hour” of the day, usually said upon retiring for the night. Below is a complete list of the Prayer Hours (also know as the Liturgy of the Hours, the Daily Office or the Divine Office.)

Matins, also known as Vigils or Nocturns, are done during the night hours and are sometimes referred to as the Night Office
Lauds or Dawn Prayer (at Dawn)
Prime or Early Morning Prayer (First Hour = 6 a.m.)
Terce or Mid-Morning Prayer (Third Hour = 9 a.m.)
Sext or Midday Prayer (Sixth Hour = 12 noon)
None or Mid-Afternoon Prayer (Ninth Hour = 3 p.m.)
Vespers or Evening Prayer (at Dusk)
Compline or Night Prayer (before retiring)

For the most part I used the complines from a book called Celtic Daily Prayer from the Northumbria Prayer Community. In this book are seven different complines, one for each night of the week. At the conclusion of last year's Festival, one young man gave me a compline that he had penned. I was blessed that he named it after my festival character and that he incorporated a number of the themes that I preached in the morning Gatherings. I will share that one with you.

We usually open with the beautiful Irish hymn, “Be Thou My Vision,” after which we begin in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Some make the Sign of the Cross, some do not. Then we go into the main part of the compline, closing with the Lord's Prayer and the singing of the Doxology. This could also be used at the conclusion of prayer meetings, home fellowship groups, etc.

Key: bold type is read aloud together; the asterisk (*)denotes a change of reader. When there are more people than reading parts, the compline is repeated until all have had a chance to participate.

Brother Benjamin's Compline
by Anonymous

Blessed art Thou O God who created light, and gave us that light through Jesus whom you sent to us that we might receive it and become like it. And blessed be the Spirit that reminds us of Your light when our eyes fail to see it.

*Be Thou our vision, our guide, our support. Grant that we may always follow Your path and reflect Your light so others will follow.

Keep us, Lord, that we will not stumble.

*The darkness comes and the night is long; the shadows grow and overtake us; the storm clouds blot out the sun.

Be our Light, Lord, that we will not stumble.

*The path is narrow and we tend to stray.
We often choose our own way and make it easy to fall.

Make our path straight and wide
that we will not stumble.


* The evil one puts rocks before us and we dig pits for one another. Left to ourselves we would build walls.

Make level the road, Lord,
that we will not stumble


* The winters of our soul are long; the world is cold; the road is covered with ice. Snow, like our trials, piles up so we cannot go on.

Show us Your steps to follow, Lord,
that we will not stumble.


* Our spirit is willing, but only sometimes, and our legs are weak. We cannot walk this road alone for the pits are many and the rocks are large. We simply are not able.

Support us, Lord,so that when we do stumble, we will not fall.

(Pause)

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
and a light unto my path.
Let me abide in Thee and Thou in me,
that I might be light in the world.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Blame the Devil or Praise the Lord?

In the Book of James, which has been called the Proverbs of the New Testament, we read in chapter 1:2-4,
(2) My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
(3) knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
(4) But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”


Since coming into my position as a hospital chaplain, I have been somewhat “forced out of necessity” to look at the issues of pain and suffering and sorrow from perhaps a different perspective than I had before.

Somehow or somewhere we've been made to believe that anything we perceive as bad must be from the devil and must be rebuked as an attack from the enemy. And if we can muster up enough faith and pray the right words and formulate the right confession that all will be well. But as you know, that is not always the case.
- People with great faith still battle great sickness
- People with great faith still lose their loved ones to disease and accidents and senseless acts of violence.
- People with great faith still lose their jobs.
- We often struggle when our personal experience does not match our professed theology.
- Our faith gets tested, so we rebuke the devil with a bit more fervor and volume.
And nothing changes.

I wonder how many things happen that the devil gets blamed for when it is, in fact, the hand of God at work.

As a child of God and a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, I believe that He is with me, He guides me, He cares for me and that “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

I believe that in the life of a true follower of Christ, nothing happens apart from the purpose, permission, providence or predestination of God. Believing this removes a lot of frustration from faith.

Take, as an example, two people with the same affliction.
One believes that his affliction is an attack of Satan. He is frustrated and discouraged because his healing hasn't been manifested. He believes that God loves him and just doesn't understand why this has happened to him.

The other believes that his affliction is the will of God for some reason beyond his limited understanding. He is at peace in spite of his situation because he believes that God loves him and that there is a divine purpose for what he is going through.

Now, we can argue theology or we can compare fruit.

Consider the following statement:
“I am really going through something; I feel like I'm being attacked from every direction.” How do you immediately interpret that?

1. He's really under the spiritual attack of the enemy.
or,
2.He's being molded and shaped by the Master Potter into a beautiful vessel for His purposes.
(The “attack” is , in reality, pressure from the hands of the Potter.)

Far too often we immediately attribute the trials of our faith to being an attack of the enemy, when, in fact, it is the hand of God at work in our lives!

Look at the story of Joseph being sold by his brothers to the Ishmaelites (Genesis 37:1-36). Our first impression is that this is a bad thing. If this were to happen today, we would likely blame the devil for a direct attack on a godly man of God. But when you get to the end of the story we read the words of Joseph (Genesis 50:20): “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”
- This wasn't God's “Plan B.” This was His plan.
- He didn't simply turn a bad situation into good, He purposed it to ultimately save the entire nation of Israel!

Philippians 4:11-13
(11) Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:
(12) I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
(13)I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


Verse 13 is a favorite of many, but is usually taken out of context and applied to accomplishing something for God, carrying out some great exploit for the Kingdom or reaching some personal goal.
- In the context, Paul is talking about being content in spite of circumstances.
- What Paul is saying is, “It doesn’t matter if I’m up or down, rich or poor, full or hungry, healthy or sick, well liked or despised, honored or shunned, in a crowd or alone… I can be content in any situation because my strength comes from Christ - not from the circumstances in and around my life.”
- Some people “can’t do” being: down, poor, hungry, sick, despised, shunned, alone, but Paul said, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”

In 2 Corinthians 11:24-28, Paul lists what he suffered as a Christian.
(24) From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one.
(25) Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep;
(26) in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;
(27) in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness--
(28)besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches.


Then, just a few years later, writing to the Philippians, Paul says, “But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel.” (Philippians 1:12)

Paul saw that nothing in his life happened apart from the purpose, permission, providence or predestination of God. He not only said, “in everything give thanks” (1 Thess. 5:18), but also spoke of, “giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Eph. 5:20).

The next time you're going through something, or if you are currently going through something, don't be so quick to blame the devil, but consider maybe, just maybe, God is at work in your life, shaping you into the image of Christ.

1 Peter 4:12-13 NKJV
(12) Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you;
(13) but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Gleanings from the Didache

I just finished reading through the Didache again – twice. It is a very brief, but interesting read. Even a slow reader should be able to read through it in less than a half-hour.

The Didache, which means “teaching,” is an early document that is believed to be a compilation of some of the main teachings of the twelve Apostles. Three of the major themes I see in its pages are: general instructions about the Christian life, instructions about the sacraments of water baptism and the Eucharist, and instructions concerning Church government (with a good number of verses addressing the office of the prophet.) What makes this most intriguing to me is the very strong probability that this was written during the same time period that a number of the New Testament books were still being written, perhaps around 65 a.d. This is what the “New Testament Church” believed and practiced before there was what we know as the New Testament.

What follows are a few things I found particularly interesting.

1. Because the hypocrites [Pharisees] fasted on Mondays and Thursdays, Wednesdays and Fridays were to be the designated fast days for Christians.

2. The Lord's Prayer was to be prayed three times per day. You may have heard it said that the Lord's Prayer is an “outline for prayer.” The early Church knew it to be an actual prayer.

3. Only baptized believers were to partake of the Eucharist.

4. Water baptism seemed to take place after some instructions about the Christian life and was done using the trinitarian formula, “in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” This baptism was to take place “in running water,” but if that wasn't available then “in some other water.” The water was to be “cold” but if unavailable, “do so in warm.” And if there wasn't enough water for immersion then “pour water on the head three times.” (interesting point for immersionists)
The one baptizing, the one being baptized, “as well as any others who were able” were to fast a day or two before the baptism took place.

5. Prayer for Holy Communion (Eucharist)
Concerning the cup:
"We give you thanks, our Father,
For the holy vine of David your servant,
which you have made known to us
through Jesus, your servant
to you be the glory forever."

Concerning the broken bread:
"We give you thanks, our Father,
for the life and knowledge
which you have made known to us
through Jesus you servant;
to you be the glory forever.
Just as the bread was scattered
upon the mountains and then was
gathered together and became one,
so may your church be gathered together
from the ends of the earth into your kingdom;
for your is the glory and the power
through Jesus Christ forever."

Post-Communion prayer:
"We give you thanks, Holy Father,
for your holy name which you
have caused to dwell in our hearts,
and for the knowledge and faith and immortality
which you have made known to us
through Jesus your servant;
to you be the glory forever.
You, almighty Master, created all things for
your name's sake,
and gave food and drink to men to enjoy,
that they might give you thanks;
but to us you have graciously given
spiritual food and drink,
and eternal life through your servant.[Jesus]
Above all we give thanks because you are mighty;
to you be the glory forever.
Remember your church, Lord,
to deliver it from all evil
and to make it perfect in your love;
and gather it, the one that has been sanctified,
from the four winds into your kingdom,
which you have prepared for it;
for yours is the power and the glory forever.
May grace come, and may this world pass away.
Hosanna to the God of David.
If anyone is holy, let him come;
if anyone is not, let him repent.
Maranatha! Amen."

Good stuff from the very early Church!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

A quick thought about temptation

Temptation
"While some wrestle with temptation, others merely embrace it."

Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between wrestling and embracing. Ponder that.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Did they realize...?


The following church bulletin notice struck me a little funny:


"Joan of Arc/Pentecost BBQ– Sun., May 31st after the 5:45 p.m. Mass (Parish of St Ann O’Nymous) Come out to Ann O’Nymous location after Mass to celebrate the feasts of Joan of Arc and Pentecost with a bonfire and BBQ."

Do you want friars with that?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

True riches

I found this great little story on another blog site and though you'd enjoy it.(http://kingdomstrider.wordpress.com) The following is taken directly from that blog:

I love little stories like this. So much truth in simple, memorable form. Told by Anthony De Mello, as quoted by Bradley Holt in Thirsty for God:

A monk in his travels found once a precious stone and kept it. One day he met a traveler, and when he opened his bag to share his provisions with him, the traveler saw the jewel and asked the monk to give it to him. The monk did so readily. The traveler departed overjoyed with the unexpected gift of the precious stone that was enough to give him wealth and security for the rest of his life. However, a few days later he came back in search of the monk, found him, gave him back the stone and entreated him: “Now give me something much more precious than this stone, valuable as it is. Give me that which enabled you to give it to me.”

Monday, May 18, 2009

A Lutheran's attempt at humor

Hey, it made me laugh!

Why me?

In difficult times, times of loss, tragedy or suffering, we may be tempted to ask, “Why me?” Now ponder this, “Why not you?” The answer is usually the same for both questions.

“He makes His sun rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” Matthew 5:45

There are certain exemptions we can claim when filing our tax forms. But there is no “exemption from difficulties box” to check simply because we are people of faith. Though we can avoid many things by being good stewards of life, living wisely and trusting God, often people with great faith are “spiritually taxed” at a higher rate.

But let us not forget the words of St. Paul in Romans 8:18 NLT, “Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later.”

Just make sure you have a good Accountant.